Hello. Long time no see.

If anybody can explain to me - in 10 words or less - just what in blue hell has happened to Bleach, I will write you porn.

Deal? Deal.

short-ass piece of misery for strawberry and midgetbitch. would not get out of my head last night.


------


Ichigo smiles, and it’s hollow, and Rukia knows somewhere, in the back of her mind, in her heart (and that is the worst knowledge of all) that one day she will have to kill this man as well.

“Nah,” he says, his eyes glowing with light as a car passes outside. “It’s not okay.”


------

Title: El Scorcho
Author: Nick Simmons
Words: 2,499
Pairing/characters used: Kira, Ikkaku, Renji and Renji’s cheering squad (Kira, Ikkaku et al). Also, Kuchikis. (Pairing: Renji/Rukia)
Notes: Future!fic.
Warnings: None, really. Standard 11th Division/dude it’s Renji warning applies. :D
Disclaimer: Bleach isn’t mine, and I ship Renji/Rukia like the Royal Navy and always will.



( drunk shinigami ahoy. )

Title: Technique
Author: cccpirate / Karlie
Characters: Ichigo, Rukia
Word-count: 410
Rating: PG?
Summary: How to train a shinigami (set way before the SS-arc – DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE SIMPLE TIMES??? i don’t.)


( let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it do it do it do it )

Today is my birthday! And last night I got my first retard troll-flame since I was 14! So to celebrate, I am going to make Ishida's life a misery via our favourite dumbberry and midgetbitch! :D



( FILTHY ICHI/HIME INFLUENCES ON YOUR CHILDREN )

Title: For This Once, Never Again
Author: cccpirate / Karlie
Characters: Hisana, Byakuya, Gin
Word-count: 6,120 OMG LONGEST FIC I EVER WROTED YAEY
Rating: PG? No more than PG-13, surely.
Summary: Gin hates sad stories. Hisana's life was full of them.
Based on a theory about Rukia.


I really, really hate this fic. I’ve been writing it for like, two years and I was all-but-ready to jack in Bleach fandom altogether, but then Kubo turned Starrk and Lilynette into even more untold holy batshit awesome, and so I’m stuck here. halp. plz.


( 一期一会 )

cccpirate: agh wiki is failing me. i am remembering this right - that byakuya seriously pissed off the kuchiki clan by marrying hisana, right?
overtoned: yeah
that's like srsly pissed off
cccpirate: yeah
overtoned: but he was also like, effah you allah
cccpirate: rofl
yeah
overtoned: er. that was not meant to be sacriligious
cccpirate: he married her anyway but they weren't exactly happy
MUSLIM TASK FORCE IS GONNA GET YOU BITCH
GET BACK IN THE BURQA
overtoned: HO SHIT


[later]

cccpirate: also now I have this amazing brain-flash
of Kaien and Byakuya in a nightclub
and Kaien being totally pissed
and going up to girls and being like HEY BABE. YOU SEE MY FRIEND HERE? HE WANTS TO SENBON YOUR ZAKURA, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 8D
overtoned: HAHAHAHAHAH
cccpirate: HEY BYAKUYA, IS THAT YOUR ZANPAKUTOU OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE THESE LOVELY LADIES HERE?
etc. etc.
overtoned: hahahahhaha
cccpirate: I bet Kaien was a total shit to Byakuya
overtoned: byakuya's zannpakjtou can only show excitment in its shikai form
*u
cccpirate: rofl
overtoned: bankai's like: wtf is this?!??!
cccpirate: "that's not cherry blossoms on your face. IT'S MY JIZZ."

Title: Podrá la muerte
Author: cccpirate / Karlie
Characters: Renji, Rukia. Renruki of an emo sort.
Word-count: 1,974
Rating: PG.
Spoilers: Not many: Soul Society arc, perhaps?
Summary: Future!fic. Rukia’s dead. Renji still keeps on following her.
sort-of sequel to [this fic]


( Podrá la muerte / cubrirme con su fúnebre crespón; / pero jamás en mí podrá apagarse / la llama de tu amor )

Title: Ourobouros
Author's name: cccpirate / Karlie
Characters: Ichigo/Rukia. Attempted.
Rating: PG?
Word-count: 264
Summary: And the moon shall be as bright.
Notes: There seem to be a lot of IchiRuki fans on my flist who are having a rough time. I suck at IchiRuki but I thought I’d try something anyway, and hope things pick up for you all sometime soon.


( no apologies )

Title: Climbing Rainbows
Author: cccpirate / Karlie
Characters: Uryuu, Orihime. IshiHime, IchiHime, emo and woe.
Word-count: 555
Rating: Not even PG.
Spoilers: Future-fic.
Summary: Ishida Uryuu has been in love, and he has left it behind.


( I give you anything yes I’ll give you anything yes I gave you everything )